Living Out Our "Anti-Birth Control" Convictions

It's one thing when you are younger to set up your convictions and your ideals for how you will live out your life as you get married and have a family. It's another thing when you get to that point and have to actually live it.

For my husband and I, we both know that God has called us to put our fertility into His hands. He has convicted us not to use birth control, whether by artificial or natural means. I would not claim that everyone should be convicted of this, because I think it is one of those things that was spoken of in Romans 14:

"Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind. He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God..."

For us, we are fully convinced. And because of this conviction, we think and live very differently from prevailing cultural norms. We live on one income and make choices based on the fact that there might be many more children to come. Still, it doesn't stop the voices and thoughts coming to me, of "What if we were like everyone else?" It is so hard not to make comparisons from time to time. 

For instance, what if we didn't have kids right away? What if we held off on child-bearing for a few years, like most people we know? Maybe we would own a house already, like so-and-so. Maybe we could go out to eat instead of always eating at home? Maybe we would have such-and-such number in our savings account, instead of all our savings going to the midwife?

There are so many what-ifs and comparisons that could be made. And I have to admit, I hear that whisper of discontentment trying to plant these ideas in my head from time to time. Especially since this is just such a different route than people we know are taking. 

But in the past weeks, God opened my eyes and showed me how these thoughts were creeping up on me. He did something radical in our lives that forced me to trust Him and depend on Him wholly.

My husband was laid off at the beginning of the new year. The one income that we depended on was suddenly gone. 

And in that sentence alone you can see what I was depending on: my husband's job and income. God showed me that I had been wrapping too much of my thoughts up in our finances, budgeting, and saving. Without consciously realizing it, I was focusing on money and financial security instead of God. 

God can take away a job in an instant. We could lose our health, our car, or our spouse. There is so much that could change in a matter of mere seconds. Ultimately, we have to trust God for each and every step we take. Every day is in His hands. He is the one who gives us our daily bread.

God was gracious to us and provided a new job for my husband in less than two weeks. I can already tell that he will enjoy this job more and be more relaxed there and that is a huge blessing! But this new job has meant a cut in the income that we had before and things will be tighter. We will have to give up things, right at the time we are expecting our first child. 

It's not easy, but I know that God is giving us our daily bread. We have the basics. Food, shelter, clothes. We have a lovely apartment and we even have a lot of things beyond what we need. We have things people in other countries would die for.

 I would be ashamed to send my sponsored child this picture of our home because of how different it would be in her eyes. Our apartment is probably 500 square feet, but to her it would be like a palace. It's almost laughable that I feel I am giving up things when I compare my life to what she has access to. We may not have what everyone else around us seems to have, but we have plenty. We really do.

Once I take my eyes off of what the American culture tells me I need to have--once I remember what God has personally called us to--things become clearer. I know that this child is more important than wealth-building, owning our home, and "x" amount of dollars in a savings account. They are an eternal soul coming into the world. I know when I hold this baby, that I will be so glad I didn't let silly ideas of how much more I should have get in the way of their entrance into the world.